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讀后續(xù)寫“跨越隔閡，修復(fù)父女情”寫作解析
讀后續(xù)寫（2024年11月強(qiáng)基聯(lián)盟高二期中英語）
閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。
I knew healing my relationship with Dad was vital, but how to go about it was another story. At the time the gulf between us seemed insurmountable(無法逾越的).My feelings of being criticized and rejected by Dad were my deepest wound,
In my early years I was the apple of his eye, and he was a hero in my childhood.We played sports and games, and often went fishing together,
As adolescence approached, however, everything changed. It became clear that I was determined to forge my own path, one completely different from his expectation. In school I was having behavioral problems, being a class joker and breaking all the rules. And having my parents read my school report was a nightmare for me. Sometimes I was punished. Their disapproval made me feel even worse. Punishments only added to the hurt.
My dad had no idea how to deal with me. He became silent and distant, setting a wall and pretending that he didn't care. That was even more painful to me than my mother's voiced disapproval. I hated him for that, and pretended that I didn't want anything to do with him. We lived under the same roof, but we were a thousand miles away from each other.
I continued to have trouble with school until the time I chose to drop out and pursue my interests in music, I became totally focused on my spiritual growth, which sent shivers(寒顫) through my father's mind. There were many hard feelings between us, feelings that hardened as time went by.
For much of my twenties, I went about my life without much of a relationship with my dad. We had stopped trying to change each other, but the walls remained, thick and cold between us.
Things all began changing four years after mom told me it was time to deal with Dad, Hesitant for a long time, I finally took her advice and wrote my father a letter.
注意:
1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;
2,請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。
第一段：After sending the letter, I felt a heavy weight on my mind.
第二段：I visited my father soon after receiving his letter.
解題思路與段落結(jié)構(gòu)分析
這篇續(xù)寫題目要求我們?cè)谝粋€(gè)情感復(fù)雜、具有轉(zhuǎn)折的場(chǎng)景中繼續(xù)發(fā)展故事。主人公和父親之間長期的隔閡和誤解，通過一封信開始慢慢修復(fù)。我們需要把握好情感的遞進(jìn)和轉(zhuǎn)變，使得續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容既符合題意，又能吸引讀者，展現(xiàn)出人物的心理變化。下面將詳細(xì)分析解題的思路，幫助大家更好地把握這類高考讀后續(xù)寫的寫作技巧。
情節(jié)分析
1. 第一段：內(nèi)心的煎熬與懺悔
情節(jié)重點(diǎn)：主人公在寫完信之后，內(nèi)心充滿不安、懺悔和期待。此時(shí)，她既渴望父親的理解，又害怕父親的反應(yīng)。我們要通過細(xì)膩的心理描寫來展示主人公的情感波動(dòng)，并通過環(huán)境的襯托來增強(qiáng)情感的層次。
情感遞進(jìn)：從一開始的猶豫與恐懼到逐漸的反思、悔惱。此時(shí)，主人公的情感需要通過動(dòng)作鏈、細(xì)節(jié)描寫等方式來表現(xiàn)。她的身體動(dòng)作、思維轉(zhuǎn)折等都會(huì)影響到情節(jié)的展開。
寫作技巧：利用現(xiàn)在分詞短語或情感動(dòng)詞來強(qiáng)化心理活動(dòng)，如“my hands trembled with anxiety”可以表現(xiàn)主人公的緊張情緒，動(dòng)作鏈可以幫助展現(xiàn)主人公內(nèi)心不安的同時(shí)增強(qiáng)畫面感。
2. 第二段：父親的寬容與理解
情節(jié)重點(diǎn)：父親的回信和寬容是情節(jié)的關(guān)鍵轉(zhuǎn)折點(diǎn)。主人公從內(nèi)心的痛苦走向接納與和解，父親的態(tài)度至關(guān)重要。續(xù)寫時(shí)要讓父親的言語與動(dòng)作展現(xiàn)出他對(duì)女兒的理解和寬容，讓這段情感的過渡自然且真實(shí)。
情感遞進(jìn)：從痛苦的自責(zé)到逐漸的釋懷和寬慰。通過細(xì)節(jié)描寫（如父親放下手中的工作，溫柔地?fù)肀┱故靖赣H如何通過身體語言來安撫主人公，使得主人公的心情得到平復(fù)。
寫作技巧：利用動(dòng)作鏈（如“placed a hand on her shoulder”）展示父親的寬容，同時(shí)可以用間接引語（如“he told me that mistakes didn’t define me”）來強(qiáng)化父親的寬容與理解。
段落結(jié)構(gòu)
第一段：
情節(jié)引導(dǎo)：
在主人公寫完信之后，她的內(nèi)心充滿懺悔與緊張。雖然她做出了修復(fù)關(guān)系的第一步，但她依然無法抑制內(nèi)心的恐懼，擔(dān)心父親的反應(yīng)。
示范段落：
After sending the letter, I felt a heavy weight on my mind. My hands shook as I watched the envelope disappear into the mailbox, and I wondered if it would be enough. Would my father understand my words, or would they just add to the distance between us The silence that had hung between us for so many years felt heavier now, and I paced around my room, trying to figure out if I had done the right thing. The thought of his reaction filled me with both hope and dread. Could he finally hear me Could he finally see me for who I had become
語法點(diǎn)分析：
現(xiàn)在分詞短語：“pacing around my room”用來表達(dá)主人公的緊張不安。
情態(tài)動(dòng)詞：“Would my father understand”表示主人公對(duì)父親反應(yīng)的不確定性。
動(dòng)作鏈：“My hands shook as I watched”表現(xiàn)了主人公的身體反應(yīng)和心理狀態(tài)。
第二段：
情節(jié)引導(dǎo)：
父親的回信和寬容是情節(jié)的轉(zhuǎn)折點(diǎn)，通過父親的溫暖話語和細(xì)節(jié)，逐漸化解了主人公內(nèi)心的痛苦。
示范段落：
I visited my father soon after receiving his letter. As I stood at his door, my heart pounded in my chest. He opened it slowly, his face softening as our eyes met. Without a word, he stepped aside, allowing me in. “Come in,” he said, his voice low but steady. My breath caught in my throat as I stepped inside, unsure of what to expect. But as he sat down across from me, I could see it in his eyes—a glimmer of understanding, a willingness to listen. For the first time in years, it felt like we were on the same page. "I’ve been waiting for this," he said quietly. And in that moment, all the years of pain and misunderstanding seemed to fade away.
語法點(diǎn)分析：
直接引語：“Come in” 和 “I’ve been waiting for this” 通過對(duì)話展示父親的態(tài)度轉(zhuǎn)變，讓情感更加鮮活。
動(dòng)作鏈：“He stepped aside, allowing me in”表現(xiàn)父親的寬容與接納，同時(shí)增強(qiáng)了情感的轉(zhuǎn)折感。
現(xiàn)在分詞短語：“his face softening”展現(xiàn)父親情感的變化，突顯他對(duì)女兒的理解。
總結(jié)與亮點(diǎn)分析
1. 情感遞進(jìn)：
通過兩段的情感遞進(jìn)，從主人公的不安、懺悔到父親的理解與寬容，展現(xiàn)了父女關(guān)系從隔閡到和解的過程。第一段突出了主人公的痛苦與自責(zé)，第二段則通過父親的寬容展示了情感的治愈。
2. 細(xì)節(jié)描寫：
通過細(xì)節(jié)描寫增強(qiáng)了情節(jié)的真實(shí)感和代入感。例如，“My hands shook” 和 “his face softening” 都增強(qiáng)了人物情感的層次，使得故事更加生動(dòng)。
3. 直接引語與間接引語：
通過對(duì)話的方式使人物之間的互動(dòng)更加生動(dòng)和有力，同時(shí)加深了情感的表達(dá)。
4. 動(dòng)作鏈：
通過描述人物的動(dòng)作，如“he stepped aside, allowing me in”，展現(xiàn)父親的寬容與接納，也增加了情感的層次。

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