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讀后續(xù)寫之師生情：師生互贈(zèng)禮物促情誼
一、讀后續(xù)寫題目
閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。
It was Christmas 1961. I was teaching in a small town where my twenty-seven third graders eagerly expected the great day of gift-giving.
Each day the children made some new wonders-strings of popcorn, hand-made decorations, and German bells made from wallpaper samples, which we hung from the ceiling. Through it all she stayed indifferent, watching from a distance, seemingly miles away. I wondered what would happen to this quiet child, once so happy, now so suddenly unsociable. I hoped the celebrations would light her up. But nothing did. We made cards and gifts for mothers and dads, for sisters and brothers, for grandparents, and for each other. At home the students made the fried marbles（油炸玻璃彈子） and competed with one another to bring in the prettiest ones. As my gift to them, I made each of my students a little bag for carrying their fried marbles. And I knew they had each made something special for me.
The day of gift giving finally came. We oohed and aahed over our handwork as the presents were exchanged. But she sat quietly watching. I had made a special bag for her, red and green with white lace, hoping very much to see her smile. She opened it so slowly and carefully. I waited but she turned away. I had not passed through the wall of isolation she had built around herself.
After school the children left in little groups, but she hesitated, watching them go out of the door. I sat down in a child-sized chair to catch my breath, hardly knowing what was happening when she came to me reaching out her hands, holding a small white box unwrapped and slightly soiled, as though it had been held many times by unwashed, childish hands. She said nothing.
注意:1. 續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。
2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。
“For me ” I asked with a weak smile.
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I carefully held out the chain.
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二、文本分析
本文以人物為線索展開，講述了1961年的圣誕節(jié)，作者在一個(gè)小鎮(zhèn)上教三年級。班上27個(gè)學(xué)生都在熱切地準(zhǔn)備著這個(gè)互贈(zèng)禮物的好日子。其中一個(gè)女孩在整個(gè)過程中，都無動(dòng)于衷，只是遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)地看著。我想知道這個(gè)安靜的孩子發(fā)生了什么事，我為她做了一個(gè)特別的包，希望能看到她的笑容，但是卻沒有什么用。在贈(zèng)送禮物的日子，她向我走來，手里拿著一個(gè)白色的盒子，什么也沒說。
四、思續(xù)寫情節(jié)
銜接1：根據(jù)句1“For me ” I asked with a weak smile. 可知，接下來可描述她的反應(yīng)：是依舊沉默不語還是輕聲回應(yīng)？在她做出回應(yīng)后，接下來我會做什么？→打開禮物盒→看到了什么？有何反應(yīng)？
銜接2：根據(jù)句2“I carefully held out the chain. ”可知，段一應(yīng)提到打開盒子，看到一條chain。
銜接3：開頭銜接句2的“我小心翼翼地拿出項(xiàng)鏈”：這是一條什么樣的“項(xiàng)鏈”？我對此作何反應(yīng)，說了什么？→小女孩聽了什么感受？我會不會戴上它？她看后又是什么反應(yīng)？笑容重現(xiàn)？
銜接4：尾句：①銜接原文I wondered what would happen to this quiet child, once so happy, now so suddenly unsociable.，在我的關(guān)心關(guān)懷下，那個(gè)曾經(jīng)快樂的小孩回來了，我們彼此的關(guān)系更近一步。②銜接原文 I had not passed through the wall of isolation she had built around herself. ，在我的欣賞和鼓勵(lì)之下，那堵隔著她和大家的“墻”被拆除了。③借物抒情：利用chain升華主題，回扣原文a special bag：這是一條特殊的項(xiàng)鏈，連接我們彼此，把我們緊緊聯(lián)系在一起，見證了我們師生情的升溫。
五、思伏筆巧協(xié)同
原文伏筆 情節(jié)協(xié)同
Para.4 She said nothing. 第一段：在我詢問之后，可協(xié)同寫她還是沉默不語(said nothing)，只是點(diǎn)頭。
Para.2 She opened it so slowly and carefully. 第一段：可協(xié)同寫我打開禮物盒時(shí)的動(dòng)作：慢慢地又小心翼翼地。
Para.3 she sat quietly watching. 第一段：可協(xié)同寫我在打開禮物盒時(shí)，她靜靜地站著觀看。
Para.3 I had made a special bag for her, red and green with white lace 第二段：可協(xié)同寫這條項(xiàng)鏈也是很特殊的，用各種彩色marbles串聯(lián)起來
Para.2 I hoped the celebrations would light her up. 第二段：可協(xié)同寫我對項(xiàng)鏈表示喜歡、欣賞，讓她面露喜色。
Para.3 I had not passed through the wall of isolation she had built around herself. 第二段：可協(xié)同寫贊賞之后，她打開心扉，我也終于通過了她心里的那堵“墻”。
主題的協(xié)同：這不僅是一條特殊的項(xiàng)鏈(chain)，更是我們師生情的紐帶。
六、協(xié)同原語言風(fēng)格
分詞作狀語：原文使用了許多分詞作狀語的句子，如Through it all she stayed indifferent, watching from a distance, seemingly miles away. 以及but she hesitated, watching them go out of the door.等，在續(xù)寫兩段也可以描述作者打開禮物、對禮物的欣賞等等亦可以使用分詞作狀語。
副詞凸顯人物情緒：原文用如slowly,carefully,quietly等突出人物情緒。
七、原文佳句積累
1.I wondered what would happen to this quiet child, once so happy, now so suddenly unsociable.
2. I had made a special bag for her, red and green with white lace, hoping very much to see her smile.
3.I sat down in a child-sized chair to catch my breath, hardly knowing what was happening when she came to me reaching out her hands, holding a small white box unwrapped and slightly soiled, as though it had been held many times by unwashed, childish hands.
八、范文欣賞
Possible version1:
“For me ” I asked with a weak smile. She said nothing, nodding her head. I took the box and carefully opened it. There inside, lay a special chain,with colorful marbles attached to it. An idea suddenly occurred to me—she had made it for her mother, who would never again hold her or brush her hair or share a funny story.We couldn’t see any smile on her face after her mother passed away three weeks before. I stood there, not knowing how to comfort her well.
I carefully held out the chain. She took it, putting it on at the back of my neck. She stepped back as if to see whether all was well. I looked down at the golden chain, then back at her, “It is so beautiful. She would have loved it.” Neither of us could stop the tears. She threw herself into my arms, her eyes filled with tears. At that moment she looked at me as though I had become her mother, for she had given me the greatest gift of all: herself.
Possible version2:
"For me " I asked with a weak smile. I was at a loss, not knowing what to do. At the thought of the small white box, I asked "Could you open this box for me " But she seemed unwilling to open it, holding it slightly. It occurred to me that I was supposed to take it easy, so l asked with a big smile, "You must have a gift for me, don't you " So shy was she that her face burnt. I opened it, only to find it was a chain. She quietly standing beside, expecting my reaction.
I carefully held out the chain.With a bright smile on my face, I exclaimed,
"It is the bestgift I have ever received." And it was at that moment that she lit up and the once happy girl came back with a radiant smile .Accordingly, she helped me wear the chain carefully. Shy and timid, she whispered, "Thank you, teacher! You've made a huge difference to my life. With tears sparkling in my eyes, we embraced tightly. From that moment, I knew that I had passed through the wall of isolation that she had built around herself.
九、主題升華積累
1.Mrs. Caruso's legacy continues to shine brightly, illuminating the path for me to make a positive difference in the lives of others, just as she did in mine. Our bond has become a lifelong connection of respect, guidance, and gratitude.
2.Without Mr Buttler’s encouragement and generous support, Emily White, the once self-doubting girl, would not have gained such a precious chance to shine brightly on the stage.
3.Thanks to my teacher’s unconditional trust, I knew that no challenge would be too daunting if I put my mind to it.
4.It was under his inspiration that he made up his mind to study hard and become a respected and caring teacher like Mark.
5.The encounter with Mark was like an everlasting flower, blossoming in the river of my memory and reminding me of the value of being honest.
6.The letter has not only served as a constant reminder of our past, but also has fostered a special bond between us.

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