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高考英語讀后續寫微技能
---動作鏈描寫
Action Chains
in Continuation Writing
Start!
1. 預測前置
Please review and familiarize yourselves with action chain descriptions! Learn to appreciate them!
Refer to your learning material!
Analysis of Test Papar
年份 試卷版本 情節 側重點
2024.06 新高考I 參加會與路遇暖心出租車司機 側重心理描寫和動作描寫
2023.06 新高考I&II 在老師鼓勵下參加作文比賽 側重心理描寫和動作描寫
2023.01 浙江高考 我意外救下蜂鳥 側重動作描寫
2022.06 新高考I&II David 克服自身局限參加比賽 側重心理描寫和動作描寫
2021.06 新高考I&II 兄妹倆為媽媽正準備早飯 側重心理和動作描寫
真題再現 （2024高考英語新課標I讀續)
I met Gunter on a cold, wet and unforgettable evening in September. I had planned to fly to Vienna and take a bus to Prague for a conference. Due to a big storm, my flight had been delayed by an hour and a half. I touched down in Vienna just 30 minutes before the departure of the last bus to Prague. The moment I got off the plane, I ran like crazy through the airport building and jumped into the first taxi on the rank without a second thought. That was when I met Gunter. I told him where I was going, but he said he hadn’t heard of the bus station. I thought my pronunciation was the problem, so I explained again more slowly, but he still looked confused. When I was about to give up, Gunter fished out his little phone and rang up a friend. After a heated discussion that lasted for what seemed like a century, Gunter put his phone down and started the car. Finally, with just two minutes to spare we rolled into the bus station. Thankfully, there was a long queue (隊列) still waiting to board the bus. Gunter parked the taxi behind the bus, turned around, and looked at me with a big smile on his face. “We made it,” he said. Just then I realised that I had zero cash in my wallet. I flashed him an apologetic smile as I pulled out my Portuguese bankcard. He tried it several times, but the card machine just did not play along. A feeling of helplessness washed over me as I saw the bus queue thinning out. At this moment, Gunter pointed towards the waiting hall of the bus station. There, at the entrance, was a cash machine. I jumped out of the car, made a mad run for the machine, and popped my card in, only to read the message: “Out of order. Sorry.”
Paragraph 1 I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.
Paragraph 2 Four days later, when I was back in Vienna, I called Gunter as promised.
action chain 1
action chain 2
Learning objectives
1. 21’-25’: able to create a vivid picture to visualize the situation by using action chains and action scenes properly;
第一梯隊：21分-25分：能夠合理運用動作鏈和動作面，創造出生動的畫面，將情境形象化；
2. 16’-20’: able to thoroughly comprehend SCM principle and try to structure action chains correctly;
第二梯隊：16 分 -20 分：能夠透徹理解SCM原理，并嘗試正確構建動作鏈；
3. 11’-15’: able to recognize the significance of “To show, not to tell” method, and cultivate the awareness of using action chains.
第三梯隊：11分-15分：能夠認識到“to show, not to tell”方法的意義，并培養使用動作鏈的意識。
Invite!
2. 主題興發
Please watch the short video clip and descirbe what Bear Grylls did to save himself (Actions)
One day, Bear Grylls was run after by a lion, what actions did he take to escape from the danger…
What did Bear Grylls do to save himself
貝爺毫不猶豫丟掉背包，爬進卡車底部，擠進車內。已經想到一個好點子，他迅速下車，小心翼翼將獅子鎖在后面。門鎖著，獅子也就被困住了。
What did Bear Grylls do to save himself
Bear Grylls, without hesitation,
his backpack, under the truck himself
into the car. a good idea, he
the car quickly and carefully the lion in
the back. , the lion
threw away
crawled
and squeezed
Having come up with
got off
locked
With the door locked
was trapped.
Explore!
3. 獨研質疑
Ponder: Without showing the video, how can we create a vivid picture that visualizes the situation in words
如何用文字創造生動畫面？讓讀者能夠身臨其境？
How to make your continuation writing vivid
描繪畫面
平鋪直述
To Show, Not to tell
Show the readers everything, tell them nothing.
向讀者展示一切，什么都不告訴他們。
-- Ernest Hemingway
She was very sad.
He was very angry.
I was very nervous.
He rushed out of the room, slamming(狠摔) the door.
She stood silently, tears rolling down her cheeks.
Lowering my head, I took a long deep breath.
Which one is more vivid
（生動）
tell=general description
show=detailed description
Method: Use more to create the picture.
verbs
Explore!
4. 悟道踐行 （1）
Ponder: How do we effectively use verbs to create a picture Any valid principles to refer to
怎樣有效運用動詞創造畫面？有什么可以參考的行之有效的原則嗎？（SCM Principle）
Display of students’ works
分解動作
To split
01
學生出教室。
拆解
站起來
抓起書包
沖出教室
That is
The bell signaled that school was over, and all the students rose to their feet, seized their schoolbags and rushed out of the classroom like arrows.
eg.1
簡易版：
eg.2
歌手開始演唱
拆解：
瞥一眼觀眾
深吸一口氣
開始演唱
The singer glanced at the audience, took a deep breath and began to sing.
Students walked out of the classroom.
split the action
老師寄語：細心觀察，捕捉最能體現人物特征的慢鏡頭。
My dad and I headed towards the mountains.
My dad and I our new cowboy hats, our horses, and slowly towards the mountains.
情境1：爸爸和我向群山走去。(浙江卷)
Skill 1: Follow time order
關鍵：根據情境及中心動作前后有什么動作來拆分動作， 將結果性的動作，分解成更細致的連貫性的微動作，使動作結果過程化~
put on
got on
headed
情境3：男孩們跳入湖中玩耍。
Boys to the lake excitedly, their clothes into the water.
rushed
took off
and jumped
實踐運用 一
解題思路：Before jumping into the water, what did boys do （跑去湖邊？脫掉衣服？熱身運動？......）
She hugged him.
情境4：她跑去擁抱他。
Key points：use as many concrete verbs instead of general verbs.
Skill 2: Use concrete verbs
hug him tightly
笑
跑
抱
She hugged him.
情境5：她跑去擁抱他。
She smiled from ear to ear, dashed to Harry, and hugged him tightly.
Skill 2: Use concrete verbs
她笑得合不攏嘴，沖到哈利跟前，緊緊地抱住他。
情境6：Hazel 看著Fein 的畫，笑著說這是第三件壞事 (六校聯考續寫）。
Hazel _______ Fein’s painting,__________ and __________it to be the third bad thing.
stared at
announced
smirked
實踐運用二
解題思路：怎么看？如何笑？咋說？
She _____________________, _______________________ , and expressed her sincere gratitude.
關鍵：利用一連串肢體動作使情緒表現更飽滿，更具畫面感。
shook his hands firmly
twisted her head slightly
Skill 3: Ask your body parts for help
She turned to and thanked Willis .
情境7：她轉過來握手言謝 （山東卷續寫）。
She _______________, _____________________ in front of her, and _______________________in shame.
關鍵：利用頭部、手部、腳步動作體現羞愧情緒。
clasped her hands
bowed her head
實踐運用 三
She was in shame.
情境9：她很羞愧。
dragged her feet forward
低著頭，雙手緊握在身前，拖著腳步走向前。
2024年真題例解
Para 1 I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.
1. Gunter 反應
難以置信，問怎么辦？
Step 1 拆解 （Split）：
肢體動作表驚訝/無奈/懷疑 → 看著我 → 詢問解決辦法
shrug/spread his hands/ meet my eyes/ ask the solution/
raise his eyebrows/ stare/gaze at me/ inquire what to do/
eyes widen in surprise/... cast a look at me/ wait...
look sb straight in the eye...
合并動作
To Combine
02
Explore!
4. 悟道踐行 （2）
Ponder: What structural forms can the action chain be presented in to achieve the effect of sentence diversification
動作鏈可以以哪些結構形式呈現，以達到句式多樣化的效果
1. 她急忙出門前去開車。
2. 他套住了小牛。
抓起車鑰匙→沖出房子→啟動發動機
瞄準小牛的脖子→扔去繩索→套住小牛
He _________ at the calf’s neck, ________ the rope and _________ the calf
successfully.
She ________ her car keys, __________ out of the house, and __________
the engine.
grabbed
rushed
started
aimed
threw
tied
did A, did B and did C
動作三連結構感知
I put on my coat hurriedly, grabbed my schoolbag and rushed to school this morning.
微情景小練：Imagine you will soon be late for school in the morning.
Practice 即學即練
今天早上，我匆忙穿上外套，抓起書包，沖向學校。
The children eagerly unwrapped the colorful paper, opened their presents, and screamed with delight.
________________________ (unwrap) the colorful paper, the children opened their presents, and screamed with delight.
（主動，分詞動作先于謂語動詞動作）
Having done A, sb. did B (and did C)
非謂語Having done結構感知
Having eargerly unwrapped
Having queued for 3 hours, he was told that the tickets had been sold out.
微情景小練：He was told there were no tickets available after queuing for a total of 3 hours.
Practice 即學即練
排了三個小時的隊后，他被告知票賣完了。
David 掙扎著站起來，繼續跑，沒有表現出任何放棄的跡象 （2022讀續真題）。
David ___________________ and _______________, __________ no signs of giving up.
（主動，現在分詞基本與謂語動詞同時發生）
doing A, sb did B and did C...
struggled to his feet
continued running
showing
非謂語doing結構感知
Sitting on the subway, the old man stared at his phone, knitting his brows.
微情景小練：An old man is trying his best to see the phone screen clearly.
Practice 即學即練
老人坐在地鐵上，盯著手機，皺著眉頭。
在Jenny的鼓勵下，Forrest看著前方，向前跑以躲避那些霸凌者。
________by Jenny, Forrest _____________ and ______________ to escape those bullies.
done A, sb did B and did C
Encouraged
looked ahead
dashed forward
非謂語done結構感知
（被動，過去分詞表被動）
Encouraged by his teacher’s words, he raised his hand and whispered, “ I volunteer.”
微情景小練：A boy raised his hand after being encouraged.
Practice 即學即練
他被老師的話鼓舞，舉起手，小聲說：“我來。”
1. Action chains（動作鏈）summary:
(1) did A, did B and did C
(2) 變形(≥2個動詞)
non-finite verbs, sb did A and did B
sb did A and did B, non-finite verbs
sb did A, did B and did C, non-finite verbs
non-finite verbs : 主動且完成: Having done sth
主動: doing sth
被動: done sth
2024年真題例解
Para 1 I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.
1. Gunter 反應 難以置信，問怎么辦？
Step 1 拆解 （Split）：
肢體動作表驚訝/無奈/懷疑 → 看著我 → 詢問解決辦法
raise his eyebrows stare/gaze at me ask the solution
cast a look at
Combine (1): He raised his eyebrows, stared at me and asked what to do.
Combine (2): Raising his eyebrows, he cast a look at me, asking what to do.
Combine (3): Having heard what I informed, Gunter raised his eyebrows and stared at me, asking what to do.
Combine (4): Surprised by my words, Gunter raised his eyebrows and stared at me, asking what to do.
改進動作
To Modify
03
我們需要在同一時間，安排多個相機在不同角度拍攝，然后把不同的鏡頭剪在一起，構成一個飽滿的動作面。
---邵田田《中國科技經濟新聞數據庫》
動作鏈是一個人的動作的依次連貫。但是若是想要描述更具有畫面感，可以通過構造“動作面”來讓語言更豐富。比如我們可以從肢體、面部、語言和心理等多個維度來刻畫場景。
Explore!
4. 悟道踐行 （3）
Ponder: How can we modify and beautify actions from different aspects to create a more vivid picture
怎樣從各方面改進和美化動作，以創造出更生動的畫面？
面部
肢體
語言/心理
成句：Widening his eyes in extreme horror, he fled away, screaming, “Mom, help!”
他驚恐地瞪大了眼睛，轉身就跑，一邊尖叫著:“媽媽，救命!”（非謂語+心理短語, 精準謂語動詞,語言描寫）
Widening his eyes in extreme horror
fled away
screaming, “Mom, help!”
動作面 Action scene
盯著前方的Andy，
表情
肢體
表情
Staring at Andy ahead, Red advanced towards him with a suitcase, (with) a smile spreading across his face.
The Shawshank Redemption
with 復合/獨立主格 ,主句與doing
動作的邏輯主語不一致時
Red 提著行李箱走向Andy，
臉上洋溢著笑容。
動作面 Action scene
動作面 Action scene
在海邊拍照
肢體
面部
語言\心理
面帶微笑, 低頭看花
手捧鮮花，站在海邊
想知道照片拍好了沒有
With a bunch of flowers in her hands , she stood beside the sea and looked down at the flowers with a smile, wondering if the photo was done.
巧用with 復合主格
他們欣喜若狂，在黃昏又唱又跳。
心理
肢體
___________, they were singing and dancing freely at dusk .
肢體
Wild with joy
動作面 Action scene
巧用形容詞做伴隨狀語
2024年真題例解
I sighed, looked back over my shoulder, and begged Gunter for a delayed payment, explaining why and waiting for Gunter’s response.
Step 3 改進（Modify）:
I sighed hopelessly, looked back over my shoulder, checking the line, and then begged Gunter for a delayed payment, explaining that I couldn’t afford to miss the conference. Anxious and expectant, I rubbed my hands, flashing him another apologetic smile and waiting for Gunter’s response.
動作三連→did A, did B and did C
非謂語結構
(主語一致)
① 同一對象同時發生不同動作，且表主動
——主+謂, doing sth./
doing sth. , 主＋謂
② 動作有先后關系時
—— Having done sth, 主+謂
③ 動作與主語邏輯關系為被動時
—— Done sth., 主+謂
動作
描寫
動作鏈
動作面
肢體
面部
語言
心理
環境
巧用With復合/獨立主格結構/adj./adv.
Split
Combine
Modify
Practice!
5. 項目合作
主題語境:人與社會----互相理解、樂于助人
文本大意：作者從維也納前往布拉格時，善良的出租車司機甘特給予了幫助和理解。作者結束旅行后如約和甘特再次見面。
語篇價值：培養學生的文化意識，引導學生樹立正確的價值取向，即樂于助人、誠實守信。
真題再現 （2024高考英語新課標I讀續)
I met Gunter on a cold, wet and unforgettable evening in September. I had planned to fly to Vienna and take a bus to Prague for a conference. Due to a big storm, my flight had been delayed by an hour and a half. I touched down in Vienna just 30 minutes before the departure of the last bus to Prague. The moment I got off the plane, I ran like crazy through the airport building and jumped into the first taxi on the rank without a second thought. That was when I met Gunter. I told him where I was going, but he said he hadn’t heard of the bus station. I thought my pronunciation was the problem, so I explained again more slowly, but he still looked confused. When I was about to give up, Gunter fished out his little phone and rang up a friend. After a heated discussion that lasted for what seemed like a century, Gunter put his phone down and started the car. Finally, with just two minutes to spare we rolled into the bus station. Thankfully, there was a long queue (隊列) still waiting to board the bus. Gunter parked the taxi behind the bus, turned around, and looked at me with a big smile on his face. “We made it,” he said. Just then I realised that I had zero cash in my wallet. I flashed him an apologetic smile as I pulled out my Portuguese bankcard. He tried it several times, but the card machine just did not play along. A feeling of helplessness washed over me as I saw the bus queue thinning out. At this moment, Gunter pointed towards the waiting hall of the bus station. There, at the entrance, was a cash machine. I jumped out of the car, made a mad run for the machine, and popped my card in, only to read the message: “Out of order. Sorry.”
Paragraph 1
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.
Paragraph 2
Four days later, when I was back in Vienna, I called Gunter as promised.
action chain 1
action chain 2
Para1: I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news.
情節設計 (十句五定)
Gunter 反應
難以置信，問怎么辦？
我請求延遲支付
解釋末班車&參加會議
Para2: Four days later, when I was back in Vienna, I called Gunter as promised.
我問其電話號碼
承諾回電和付款
Gunter 思考
同意留電話號碼
我感動
沖向巴士
Gunter 到巴士站接我
我感謝他,告知會議順利
在去機場路上
到機場
我付兩次費用,給小費被拒
結局：
我再次被其善意感動
升華：
傳播善意的決心…
To combine
To modify
To split
Group C
Group D
Group A+B
Task assignment
N Checklist scores
1 3-4 verbs are used in one sentence (0-10)
2 General verbs are splited into concrete verbs (0-10)
3 All verbs are correctly combined (0-10)
4 Action chains are properly modified (0-10)
5 Around 150 words
Evaluation
Reflect!
6. 反思總結
Ponder: What have I learnt from this lesson
1. To show, not to tell;
2. SCM principle;
3. Practice makes perfect.
動作鏈下水文
I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news. Astonished, Gunter raised his eyebrows, stared at me, and asked what to do. I explained to him the urgency of catching the bus, emphasizing the significance of the conference to me. Then I hurriedly tore a slip of paper from my notebook, signaling him to write down his phone number with an anticipating look. Amazingly, without a second thought, Gunter accepted my slip of paper and swiftly wrote down his phone number, a smile dancing around the corners of his mouth. “Have a safe journey!”added Gunter. A feeling of gratitude washed over me as I heard his words. After expressing my thanks, I grabbed the briefcase, made a mad run for the bus, and jumped onto it just before its departure.
Four days later, when I was back in Vienna, I called Gunter as promised. We made an appointment to meet at the bus station where he had dropped me off. The moment Gunter recognized me, he pulled over, quickly got out of the car, strode to me, and gave me a tight hug as if we were long lost intimate friends. With excitement, I told him the conference went smoothly thanks to his generous help. Upon arriving at the airport, I handed some cash to Gunter, explaining that I was paying for the ‘double car ride’, back and forth from the airport to the bus station, together with a generous tip that he turned down at once. Gunter’s refusal this time melted the softest place in my heart, just as his acceptance did last time. I couldn’t thank Gunter too much. His kindness had turned a potentially disastrous evening into a memorable story I would cherish for years to come.
動作鏈下水文
2024高考全國一卷二卷·讀后續寫: 官方范文
Para 1: I ran back to Gunter and told him the bad news. He looked at me in disbelief, asking me what to do. Flashing him another apologetic smile, I begged him for a delayed payment. “If I miss this last bus to Prague, I'll be late for the conference which is so important that I can't afford to miss it!” I explained. “May I have your phone number I will call you and return the money I owe you. I promise I will keep my word or you keep my watch!” I added, handing him my watch as well as my business card. Gunter accepted my business card but rejected my watch. He wrote down his phone number and gave it to me. “Just keep your promise, Sir." A feeling of gratitude washed over me as I heard his words. Giving him a firm handshake, I jumped out of the car, made a mad run for the bus, and jumped onto it just before its departure.
Para 2: Four days later, when I was back in Vienna, I called Gunter as promised. He picked me up at the bus station where he had dropped me off four days before. Beaming a warm smile at him, I gave him a big hug the moment I saw him. We chatted happily on the way to the airport. I told him that thanks to his generosity and timely help, everything had gone smoothly. When he stopped his taxi outside the airport, I paid him for the “double car ride", back and forth from the airport to the bus station, together with a generous tip that he turned down. I also gave him an attractive souvenir I had bought at Prague, which he accepted with delight. We became good friends and kept in touch with each other regularly. I felt blessed to have such a warm-hearted friend like Gunter.
1. 根據此節課所學知識，修改自己的2024年新課標I高考真題續寫。
2. 動作鏈句式練習卷
Check!
7. Homework
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